Argument leads to change

Arguments in our relationship are not good for the status quo.

Our finances this month have been depleted by some unforeseen events and since we're travelling on a tight budget anyway, the stress levels have risen.

Today's argument boiled down to: after a year and a half year of travel, with the uncertainty of our house rental coming to an end and with money tight, what should we be doing next?

One of the reasons for our travels was to see if we found somewhere so wonderful we might want to settle down there. In that regard our experience in Asia has been extremely useful, we've entirely written off the tropics (globally) other than for visits. As Ali put it:

 "On this trip it has helped clarify that I do mind bugs, I don't want ants everywhere, you put one thing down for a second and it's covered! I am fed up of large flying things in the house, snakes in the garden and mainly mosquitoes!

If I am not smearing suncream on three moving targets I am coating their precious skin in bug repellant! Despite all that we still have been eaten alive!"


As the realisation that the tropics are not an option for us, I'd suggested and put some research into the possibility of Portugal - land is cheap, there's good weather, cost of living is affordable and it's a well trodden path. It might not be a bad place to build a house, dig a pool, set up a small holding, and live the good life.

Today is hot (which probably helped the argument develop) Ali said: you know I just can't do the heat! (Portugal is likely off the list).

Ian: France has a great climate

Ali: it's not a happy place right now.

Ian: so where?

Ali: Cornwall perhaps? We know some people doing that sort of thing over there.

Ian: bit expensive no?

Ali: we may have to be creative...


The argument was over fairly quickly and like our first argument that set our travels in motion  almost exactly two years ago I suggested that we write what we both wanted on pieces of paper then share and compare.

This is what I came up with:

  • Community
  • Workshop (for me)
  • Regular travel in bus or other
  • Unschooling the kids unless they want school
  • Home or buildings to build
  • Small small holding
  • Climate where walking and running outside are bearable
  • Good wifi

Ali's for comparison:

  • Successful business
  • Easy access to parents
  • Space that is ours without limitations
  • Enough money to feel comfortable on a daily basis
  • Engaged and happy children
  • Friends and community nearby
  • Good food
  • Time for us as a couple
  • To feel at my best
  • Fit and healthy
  • Space to relax
  • Wonderful view everyday.

Conclusion? Some differences but not incompatible.

No certainties since we change our minds often, but it looks like our days of constant travel are numbered. Thankfully with our bus we'll still get to move around plenty wherever we end up.